The shallow reasons for my choices

There are 4 reasons why people teach ESL in another country. 
1) Professional experience
2) Cultural enlightenment
3) Gap year
4) Escape life and get drunk
I was the 4th and after 5 years and too many hangovers I have become the 2nd.
I blame the education system ( well, I have to blame someone) at 18 years old I still relied on my mother to make onion gravy the way I like it and I had no idea what a penis looked like, other than the porno my brother left in his VCR one day. “Summer Girls get hot” It is safe to say 10 years later, I now know how to make onion gravy and am severely disappointed in the latter.
So if one is unable to know what life is about, how is it ever possible to decide on your future? To spend a lot of money, that you could possibly spend a life time paying back, and a lot of time studying something that does not interest you or make any kind of sense. I don’t believe the system works and am sad that it fails so many people every year.
I decided that because I was ok at English throughout school I should do English at University, if I had my time again I think only now would I really appreciate the choices that I had, the different courses I could have sunk my teeth into and been able to gorge on every piece of information. Journalism, creative writing, media I would have wanted to do it all, but I was rushed and I chose to study Dickens and Poe. Great writers that I used as coasters for my beer.
So what should one do when they study English? Travel the world and talk, a lot!
I have collected a plethora of memories from my experience and I will say that I am satisfied with my life’s journey, I am proud of how I used my ‘mistake’ to explore my mind and discover what and who I want to be.
My 4 tips to ESL teaching (all spawned from true and satirical incidents)
1) Do not, under any circumstances, judge a family by how they dress their child. Do not laugh out-loud at a kid when their second language is English, and more importantly, never explain his shirt to him.
Walking through the halls of the second Korean school I taught at, a child, knee high, ran up to me and pulled at my top. I looked down at the 5 year old who adored his teacher and whose teacher could think of a thousand places she would rather be right now (on a beach, in a bar on a beach, in a bar on a beach with Ryan Gosling) but I bit my tongue and smiled and looked down at the child. He wanted to show me his classwork, I could not stop reading his shirt. The desire to run to my computer and update my facebook status was too great and I left the child in mid-sentence
Facebook status - A 5 year old’s t.shirt reads; ‘it won’t lick itself’

2) Read through your notes the day before you teach. Don’t wing it because sometimes things come up that you were not expecting and it could get awkward and, somewhat, embarrassing.
Teaching the phrase ‘It turns out’ needs more preparation. A group of Polish adults looked blankly at me as I tried to explain how it means ‘finally’ or as ‘conclusion’ to something, when one woman turns to me and says ‘to turn on someone?!’ Oh the horror, as I go red I feel that is my duty to tell this woman that she must NEVER use this phrase in Business with an English speaking company!
3)Always enjoy the moments that make you laugh out loud, the students may never understand your seemingly loss of sanity but it will, in the end, keep you sane.
Conducting a role play, I gave each student a job description for themselves. One man was from a law firm, called ‘Black and White’ and he worked on mergers and acquisitions. Introducing himself he says ‘Hello I am a liar’
Possibly the smartest student in my class!
4)Expect the awkward moments when things that we say do not translate into other languages so easily.
Having a party at my home, I decided to invite a co-teacher who seemed lonely and in need of friends being the extremely wonderful person I am I went and met her on the street to direct her to the place.
Me ‘ah, I am so happy you came!!’ 
Her ‘why?’
*silence*