Big bad Bullies

I am writing a completely outrageous blog post, and because no one seems to really read my blog other than my future (if Colin gets his finger out) mother-in-law and Colin himself, I can write what I want and not care for consequences..hoorah!

First issue of the day

* Bullying *

I have been talking and thinking about this subject all my life and recently it seems to have come up a lot in blogs and the news.

This week I have even been doing it with one of my adult classes (ok, I mentioned it and they queried on the spelling...I hold that up as a thorough discussion)

Earlier this year I sent two emails out to two fb friends to apologise for the way I treated them in school. I was jealous of them, their individualism and their lack of need to hurt others. Bullying makes one 'think' they are at an advantage and that they are superior..

*bullshit*

These two beautiful women are successful in that they have happiness now, I didn't contribute to this happiness and that's not how I want to live.

I bullied them because I was in agony inside.

I don't believe in Karma. No paths I choose will directly effect the next stage in my life.

Bullies very rarely get what's coming to them, especially if they are the every day verbal, mocking bullies who don't really understand the consequences or the pain they cause.

Let me give you some examples;

*Everyday the girl, that is the most popular and everyone wants to be, takes another, significantly less popular, girl's blackcurrant juice and the the latter girl is somewhat fearful of ever saying no.

Is that bullying? Does the popular girl ever realise how inferior she makes the other girl?

*A geeky girl, not yet reaching her attractive peak, wears her heart on her sleeve and allows a boy to know she likes him his response is;

"I would rather *&%@ a dead dog that is 6 feet under"

Is that bullying? Or did the boy have a right to say that to rid himself of any possible advances by the undesirable?

*Sitting on a bus to go home from school, a girl sits next to her best friend and shares her headphones, a boy from the back of the bus tells the latter that it is 'disgusting' to allow the former to share the headphones.

Is that bullying? Is that wrong when it actually brings me to tears right now to remember my memories of school?

These, of course, are my stories and they stay with me for life. I have many more, of my house being egged, of vile verbal words thrown at me in the street and yet no one would really consider me as being a victim of bullying because these stories, individually, are not that horrific.

And those involved in these memories are all successful, happy people.

They do not and will not ever know that they stay in my mind forever. I will never 'get over it' in an attempt to be a better person, I can't, I am human after all.

Again, I don't believe in karma, consequences for bullying will only happen if the person happens to want a clear conscience, has an open mind and a good heart.

I was once a somewhat religious person. My mother is a Born again Christian. I was raised by her and she is the most wonderful person in the world. Now I have met the second most wonderful person in the world, he is my future and he is an Atheist.

My mind has become a battlefield, I adore two people who both have such strong faith in what they believe and 'know' that it is the truth.

I have started to lean towards the belief that there is no god, that we are not as spiritual, as impressive and as wonderful as we think we are.

We are actually nothing

I have a cat and she is too beautiful for words (except that she is biting my toe in bed as I write this) . We got her as a kitten and there is nothing , bar size, that would lead one to believe she is a baby. She is independent, she learned to walk, play, jump, run all alone. She is a miracle. Humans are not. We need our parents until we are 18 years old (beyond that for some).

We come out of the womb and would perish without other humans, we are a race of dependants.

The only thing we have that is superior is our language and the fact that we have domesticated animals to control as we want.

Is it cruel that I keep my cat indoors, so that if she ever was called to the wild (her rightful home) she would not be able to survive?

Is it cruel that we take chimps from their mothers and put them in labs so that we can decide if they are smart?

Is it cruel that beagle dogs are put into cages, for life, so that we know if our mascara will be water proof or not?

If there is no god, then there is no consequences to what we do to another race. Animals (dinosaurs) were here before us, they belong more than we. We are supposed to live with the earth, not control it. We were born naked, fragile and as guests on Earth. Our egos have destroyed the balance.

In school I knew nothing but school. I couldn't see past the gates, I couldn't understand that in a few years I would never have to see those people again and that I could, if I wanted, defriend them from fb !!!

Children see school as everything and it saddens me that some are so miserable and involved that they resort to taking their own life.

These 'victims' are the people we need in order for the Earth to survive, these children with good hearts that know what it feels like to be trapped, attacked, inferior.

I believe I was born because I am just part of another race, I am nothing special. I work, eat and love but that won't help me when I am dead. It's just the cycle, but while I am here I tend to leave the smallest footprint.

My cat will be adored because she is far greater than I am.

I will try and make those around me happy.

I will love rather than hate.

Bullying isn't just the big things it is in everything.