Friday, 19 April 2013

Saving Face or falling flat on it?!

Yesterday was my school's sports day. Held at the grand Mokdong sport's stadium which was gigantic to say the least.
I was on the blue team and became highly competitive as I always have done. I feel that as I am becoming older and nearly at the scary age of 30 it is time that I realise my days of competition are over and that even the ability and the flexibility to just take part is a luxury. I used to be so fast, in school I was the second fastest girl and I keep thinking I am still there in that small primary school of a few hundred kids racing in relays. Alas, I am not and I must hang up my baton and only take it up if I understand 'it is just a game.'
I didn't win the relay
Silly Silly

Anyway this sporting event was extremely odd. It was a family day and so the parents and grandparents were there and it was surprising the amount of fathers that were present. Koreans work extremely hard and the majority of fathers work long hours I would say all mothers were there and about 70% of the dads. It was really beautiful to see the interaction between children and parents and I have always had a soft spot for fathers and their off spring. The sad thing is as the day progressed it became painfully obvious that the day was geared more towards parents and their (making) fun. At one point the parents took part in a race and the kids were sat in such a way they didn't even know anything was going on. They were unable to cheer or enjoy their parent's misery. I am not sure if this hadn't been thought through well enough or was deliberate but I just expected a day for the kids to go crazy.

A harsh lesson in Korean culture was also learned when a father of one of my kids fell in a race, not once, but twice. Unfortunately he wasn't a butch,musclier athlete like some of the fathers but a nerdy, overweight, balding guy who I (stereotypically) assume never got picked in his school's sport's day. He probably thanked the heaven's above that his days of physical competition were over. Little did he know that he would be dragged screaming to a day full of humiliation and torment (I do not use these words lightly)
He ran the race and ate the track early on and then after getting back up and soldering on he fell again breaking his glasses, his finger and his dignity.

If you have ever been to Korea and taken your time to see it as a culture of it's own, not as a person here for a year to just make money and leave as fast as possible, but really understand the people and their way of thinking you will know that 'saving face' or 'Chae-Myun' (family honor or pride) is ever present. It literally killed me to see this guy take 2 dives because I knew his heart would be sunk and he would feel the anguish for a long time after.
As opposed to those in the UK who would, none-the-less, be mortified but would soon enough laugh it off and proclaim that they fell flat on their face twice for their kids stupid sport's day I knew this Korean father wouldn't ever laugh about it.
Another child of mine also took a nose dive and hid his head in shame and tears he didn't even have a scratch but was also ashamed of doing something so natural yet undignified. It is sad to see such small children be so aware of how they appear to others.

Another strange thing at yesterday's comical event was the music a mixture of club songs and racey renditions fit for the bedroom, I wonder about these songs and explicit lyrics and feel sad that in today's society children are pushed into adulthood way before their time. On a slightly unrelated note Jaden Smith in 'The karate kid' seems to be emotionally, as well as slightly physically, excited by the 12 year old Chinese girl gyrating to 'poker face' in front of him.
Why are we forcing our kids to have feelings like this at 12?!
I was bullied in school because I wasn't pretty enough, I was in SCHOOL I should never have been thinking about my looks. We do that for the majority of our adult life why should I start in school and who should I do it for?!
Tragic.

I have decided that I have become, finally, a good teacher I adore my children all of them from the kindergartens to the middle schoolers and I believe each of them has beautiful potential, whether it be to speak English or something else.
One 6 year old I teach proclaimed earlier on in the year that he wanted to 'jump off a bridge' he remains in our school and usually wears a forlorn, sad face. It has become clear to me that our job is to make the environment as happy and comfortable as possible, he deserves to smile because however depressed he gets he wont be taken out of school and he will be there until it is time to go into the world of work.
I have had issues for a while now about schooling and forcing children to learn so young, to learn in a room behind desks with little freedom to run around and be free but it is the world we live in, if we want something else we must seek it as a group.

http://www.thelensoftruth.org (is one way.)

Anyway I have gone off on tangents and must re-focus.
The school sport's day was weird but I enjoyed running around with some very deeply beautiful children and seeing their eyes light up as children's eyes should always be able to do.
On the bus watching Tom and Jerry and possibly the quietest they have ever been.
This stadium is pretty big for a school sport's day.

Blue Team



Jane


The MC dressed as..actually I am not so sure but I bet he was hot.



The speakers and music stage.



Getting ready for the 4 hour day ahead


Marching with the flag



Alice and Erik (with a K as he always tells us)





This was possibly my favorite part when the parents bent down with their children and gave them words of encouragement (I assume anyway)


Lunch was basically given to us by the parents lots of yummy fruits for me which I was grateful for.


Brian

The winning relay team, Peter, Kyung Hoon, Brian, Jasmine and Sophia.

The relay baton a teddy with 'bling' on his top.

The cherry blossoms outside my apartment.




Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Some pics of my life

I never thought I could adore little ones, other than my nephew of course, as I do these kids. I am older, wiser, and softer it would seem. Some days are tough but then you remember they are 5 and 6 years old speaking two languages. They put me to shame. 
May I present; 
6 year olds-Honor and Respect class
5 year olds-Cheer and Shine class.

Edwardio

Edward, Clara, and Sean

Sean

Peter and Emma

Alice, Sean and Peter

Jaheim and Peter


Kids



Jasmine and Chloe *check out that hair piece*

Bo-mi and David

Brian


Rosie and Bill (1 year younger than the above kids)


Olivia and Alex

Bella and John

Kevin and Amy


Roy

Dare I say my favourite Yu-Na (or Jasmine or Jinny she changes every day) and William

Minha and Jun Hee

Chang hyung and Bella


Jack and YuJu

Andrew and Bella

Saturday, 30 March 2013

Un- Facebook

I ditched the beast this week, gone forever is my scrolling through other people's lives, gone are the days when I seek acceptance in 'likes' and 'comments' and gone are the long hours choosing the best picture so people will find me aesthetically pleasing. I may have just hit home with some people, others may just think I am a nut job with a baggage full of issues and yes the latter is more likely the case but nether the less this is what it has come to.

For a very long time I sort (I still do to some extent) acceptance and agreement. It is very hard for me to deal with confrontation and hate. I seek approval from peers and new people I meet, I literally fall to pieces if I am disagreed with or the butt of jokes. I am not sure where this all stems from, sometimes I desire a phd in psychology so I can put a label on myself and wear it with (or without) pride. I don't quite believe in problems stemming from 'something.' Who has the perfect family these days? What is the perfect family these days?
Mother and Father who stay together, love each other, have a steady income, happy lives can still have messed up kids.
I just believe that we are who we are and the people we meet, the path we take, the experiences we go through slowly but surely moulds who we become.  And boy, did my mould get messed up along the way.

The catalyst and the moment when I made the greatest decision in my life, ok I really cannot compare this to the end of slavery or having a baby or travelling around the world but I will still file it in the same category since this is my blog, to rid myself of Facebook was when someone I respect seemed to not see me anymore. I assume those around will honestly know me because of how I write and what I post on Facebook but this isn't true, not many people can know you through a virtual wall. I can probably be honest and say that I now think only Colin knows me, tragic but true only one person really knows how I think and what I feel. This 'person' I mentioned (who was just the straw) said one line and it really struck me hard. I realised that the better a person you try to be the more your mistakes are noticed by others.
 I suppose this is also why people have a deep rooted hate for you... for stepping out of the lines of conformity, for being different, for trying to show them that what they do is actually wrong.
I made a conscious decision recently that I would be a better human being I would buy things with thought behind it. I would spend money on things that didn't harm anyone or anything in their production...I make mistakes, I get lazy and when I do I am jumped upon, I am strung up as an example of how those that live the 'normal' way are actually the better people and I am actually no Saint.

Even as I write this it makes no sense. I apologise.

The truth is; I am not a Saint, I don't live perfectly, I don't buy everything with thought, I work long hours and I grab a pack of pesticide ridden apples. I don't know about everything that I shouldn't buy and everything I should.
But, alas, I try and I think this should neither be rewarded nor attacked.

Facebook was a huge part of my time in Korea but now I am ready to really do better things with my time. I was addicted and now I feel I am addiction free.
Plus Colin showed me a video of a woman giving birth standing up in her kitchen and the comment underneath was;
'She is hairy.'
I think I have made the right decision.

Thursday, 31 January 2013

Virtual voice.

I have a post in production but thought I would write something today to catch everyone up on what is happening with us I have been quite vague with people up until now because, quite frankly, it hasn't been all smooth sailing.

I have worked in South Korea on and off for 4 years, last year I worked in a public elementary in Masan and I have always praised public and told people never to go elsewhere (private) sadly I got right royally shafted this year. I did a great 45 minute interview over Skype and then they called my old co-teacher for a reference she told them that I quit after 8 months of working with her. (I worked from Nov 2010-Oct 2011 with a 6 month notice to the school that I had to leave one month early)
I don't know what happened or why it happened but I told the education board to check back pay and see what dates I got salary for, it was of no use they decided against me and even emailed ME to tell Colin that he is now not eligible for an interview even for a different school.
I have been Hulk angry, hurt, annoyed and just plain blazaae about it and I know it is what it is but it has left a bad taste in my mouth for Korea and so today on my birthday I must learn to simply, grow up.
Life isn't always how you want it and even if you put in 100% you might not get much back.
We are returning at the end of Feb as long as documents and visas get done. We both have private jobs (although Colin's is definitely better than mine, I panicked and took what I could) but on the bright side we are two vegans moving to Seoul and the cats are ready to go. Although I asked Piggy and she said unequivocally that she doesn't want to go (HA)
We are sad to leave Wrocaw, Poland and Europe it is beautiful here and we couldn't ask for a nicer apartment but we cannot afford to make grand moves for our future here and Colin, as an American, isn't as welcome as we need him to be.
I am sad that last year I claimed that I am 'done' with Korea and here we are returning but c'est la vie the past year has been fabulous, we got to know each other so well, we travelled a lot, met families, got engaged, got cats...and so, returning to Korea is exciting rather than a failure.
We have a goal and once that is in sight or near enough we will be making our last move to the States, Oregon.
A friend once told me that it is ignorant of me to want to live in an English speaking country (bear in mind they live in an English speaking country) but I am exhausted of not being able to pick up languages or going to the post office, bank, supermarket and not being understood. Though I do always say that living in Poland is actually harder than Korea because no Korean actually assumes I am Korean, I get asked questions here ALL the time!
I am now working towards my wedding and my home.
Also, in regards the wedding it will be more of a marriage blessing as Colin and I will do the legal papers in Korea since an American must be present in UK for 15 days before marrying and I don't think private schools will allow that so, sooner than one might think I may be running around with a new name and a new passport ! Watch this space.

Anyway I hope that answers questions on jobs and this year for me and Colin, we have the best 'marriage blessing' to look forward to at a mansion in a beautiful part of Wales and I cannot wait to see as many wonderful people there as we can possibly have.

Until then, I am but a virtual voice.

Monday, 31 December 2012

School in Haiti and wonderful animal people


I wrote two pieces recently for the Wroclaw International English newspaper.
Here they are 


“Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world.” Nelson Mandela.

In January 2010 Haiti was struck by a devastating earthquake which was watched by many on the other side of the world. We shook our heads in dismay and sadness and then discussed it until the end of our double espresso and croissant. This is adequate time for such a topic and once it is over we move on. We are all guilty of such whimsical feelings and no one should really feel guilty about them however it is reassuring and somewhat comforting when we know that there are some people who will make that double espresso last a little while longer.
After scouring the internet I was pleasantly surprised to note that there have been more than a handful of individuals, groups, and countries that have pulled together to re-build Haiti and it was even nicer to hear that one such group comes from right here in Wroclaw. Recently I have been in touch with an architect by the name of Katarzyna Dabkowska who has been more than a little helpful in regards sharing information about her work and that of the rest of her team of 5 young architects from the city; Maciej Siuda, Lukasz Piasta, Marta Niedbalec, Kamil Rusinek and Jerzy Mazurkiewicz.
It all began in June 2011 as a competition ran by the charity foundation ‘Polska-Haiti’, the Polish Chamber of Architects, and the Polish Chamber of Civil Engineers. The requirement was to design a new school to be constructed in Jacmel a town deeply affected, not only by the infamous earthquake, but also by heavy rain falls, hurricanes, and cholera epidemics that have taken their toll on the people and the buildings. After sailing through two stages of the competition in May 2012 the group of Wroclawians took their prize of seeing their designs become a reality and began the arduous task of traveling to Haiti and building a school for the children who desperately seek an education. Unlike other children in the more fortunate parts of the World, the younger generation of Haiti has been forced to grow up quickly by the tragedies they have faced and have no choice but to carry the heavy burden and restore Haiti to an educated and therefore more prosperous nation.
The school is funded primarily by the Bishop Launay Saturne, Caritas Polska, and the charity foundation ‘Polska-Haiti’ and the aim is to have at least part of the school ready and able by September 2013, this will mean that the children can start learning at the start of the academic year. 
My main concern, when I heard about this project, was the sturdiness of the building. For a country that seems quite the target for mother nature’s bow and arrow how can one be sure that the new building will be able to withstand the possibly inevitable future disasters? It was also clear to the architects that there would be huge issues as the materials and technology available in Haiti are very different and somewhat lacking in comparison to what they were used to dealing with in Poland. Luckily though the idea is for these talented individuals to bring their knowledge over and put them to good use, knowledge they gained from Poland and so the project is being completed following and according to the Polish building code with the cooperation and expertise of engineers and specialists. Also all conditions have been taken into consideration and for areas which are more vulnerable to seismic activity the structure has been optimised. With the dry season lasting up to 3 months in Jacmel it is imperative that water is collected adequately throughout the rainy season and the construction of a deep well is in discussion. Through the rainy season the rain water is collected in pools on the roof which is then used in the kitchen and toilets to maintain sanitary conditions.
After just a few emails with Katarzyna Dabkowska I was amazed by her enthusiasm for such a strenuous task, it is both wonderful and astonishing that people with talents that could push them far in their own personal goals and aspirations are willing to take a step back and spend 2 -3 years building a school for people they hardly know.
I asked Miss Dabkowska what her thoughts were of the people she encountered in Haiti, “They are passive, they seem to struggle every day and continue to live on the rubbles and the ruins of their country but, like Wroclawians, they are warm and hospitable. “
The group, when in Haiti, were enthusiastically thrust into a sight seeing tour of, not only the city and buildings, but of places of natural beauty that seemed to have evaded the touch of the catastrophes that have plagued the country.
How astonishing that through such tragedies people can still stand up and introduce their place of birth with pride and a smile.
And as for the wonderful group of Wroclawians, they hope that when this project ends it will open the door to many more. It is an excuse to travel, to learn, and to integrate with other cultures but also for the simple fact that it brings different worlds together in working towards a common goal.
If you wish to know more about this project or to donate please visit the Polska-Haiti website. www.polska-haiti.org

_____________________________________________________________________________________________



It may come as a surprise to some that Poland is actually the 4th largest producer of fur in the World, larger than the US even. Maybe one will have to wait for the devilishly cold winter months of January and February to truly witness the bundled up individuals riding the city trams with their fox tailed scarfs and rabbit eared hats. I didn’t quite lose my mouthful of water when I read the statistics but it did make me slightly twitch in my seat with unease. I am not judging fur connoisseurs but sadly there is a harsh reality that comes with the fur trade and that is how the animals are kept pre-skinning. 
An intervention occurred on a fox farm in April 2012, an anonymous informer had contacted  the animal protection society of Lower Silesia ‘Ekostraz’ to help the foxes that lived in diabolic conditions. In metal containers such as unused, old ovens in the heat of Polish summer without drinking water and left to breed in these conditions so as to produce more fur, the wonderful unpaid volunteers decided to take on legal action against the owner of the farm. 
It is reassuring to most that these kind of societies exist, we can relax in the knowledge that others are cleaning up the dirt of the inhumane and irresponsible however, everything has a price tag and Ekostraz, which is non-profit and one of it’s kind in the whole of Poland, needs money if it shall continue to fight the good fight. The reason they are one of a kind is that they not only protect those that we call ‘pets’ such as cats and dogs but also they work on protecting wild animals too; hedgehogs, squirrels,birds and such that happen to fall upon hard times. If they are able to be saved Ekostraz will pick them up in one of the few cars they have and nurse them back to health in a foster home. It is important to remember that zoos, other shelters and vets here in Wroclaw have little to no experience dealing with wild animals and so all work burdens the 20 or so Ekostraz members who see domestic pets and wild animals as equal when in need of help.
Unfortunately unless you seek out the Facebook page of Ekostraz or dine at Vega in the Rynek where many of their meetings and workshops have taken place then it is unlikely you, as a native English speaker, would have heard of them however it is good to know that most of their members speak English and although they do not have a shelter, per-se, to work at you can always provide a helping hand by donating, providing transport or even opening your home to animals that need a foster parent until they get permanently homed. All vets bills, food and equipment is provided and paid for all you have to do is have a furry yet very endearing house mate to stay for a while. They all come with a guarantee not to block your toilet, pile up the dirty dishes, and they will attend to you in whatever mood or state you find yourself in as long as you scratch behind their ears.
Also if you own a company here in Wroclaw and would like to sponsor a worth-while cause, a cause that is desperately seeking funds to purchase an incubator to help animals with respiratory issues as well as other vital equipment to keep them afloat please contact them by email info@ekostraz.pl or ‘phone 605782214.



Monday, 24 December 2012

How the Queen's speech should sound...

And so Christmas 2012 rolls in on Poland, foggy, damp, bleak and without a trace of snow as the Wroclaw God seems to have mistook yesterday for the 25th and today it has cleared up completely. It is hard realising that Christmas, although still a firm contender of mine as the best time of year, is never going to be quite as exciting as it was before I hit puberty.
Why was it exciting? because of the films, t.v adverts, abundance of food, people spending time with you (never mind the other 364 days of the year), music and of course... the presents! I was a child of consumerism and so is the majority of children that are born into a western life. I don't believe you could make this time of year as good as it was when I knew that I would wake up with more gifts than the sofa could comfortably hold.
I fear that Mine and Colin's choice of not having children puts us in a dangerous position in which one day (hopefully a long time from now) one of us will be spending Christmas time alone. That there will be no one around to care, love or to help us but that is a choice we made because it would be more selfish to have children when we are not 100% committed to having any.

These are the things I spend my Christmas time pondering about over a glass of red, staring at the walls and wondering, really?..what is this all about?
But it isn't rocket science, we are here and one day we wont be and you either spend your life accumulating wealth, things, and shallow relationships or you do your best to better you and the world.

My New Year's resolutions are going to be huge.

I plan to be the happiest, healthiest vegan I can be. I plan to be a poster child for the vegan movement and not to talk about the negative aspect too much...if you want to know about it you can find it out ..Veganism isn't a negative thing, it is empowering, challenging and worthwhile, therefore I will be as positive as I can be. (sadly this new year resolution includes *shudder* the gym)

I plan to be happy for everyone, my past life was, for a long time, churned up in jealousy and bitterness. I do not deserve to live like this, like wise all living beings should all live great lives, we are only around once don't forget!

My blog is going to grow (this will be the hardest to keep up) I plan to read the news each morning on the BBC and write my opinions on it. Too much news today is written so that people scroll through it quickly, getting lost in the muddle of confusing words and jargon. With dictionary at hand as my compass I will navigate my way around BBC online and research the net.

I plan to save for 2 major things;
my wedding that I started planning when I was 9 and was just waiting for the right man to knock on my door ( or pick me up in a bar..either way works) 
and for our home (condo, apartment) together in America. 
This year isn't about spending, holidays or extravagance it is about the future, it is about what we want and where we want to be.

..and so I wish all of you a wonderful and peaceful Christmas, it may not be as thrilling as it once was but it is a great time to reflect and smile. if you are warm, safe and loved you are certainly one of the lucky ones.
As am I.

Cheers

Saturday, 6 October 2012

In the dog house


It has been so long since I wrote and I am trying to pick up the ...pen again but I haven’t had many deep, life-changing thoughts of late. 
However, I have added another bridesmaid HA. And I couldn’t be happier. 
My mother visited Wroclaw and Krakow about a month ago and it was her words that made me decide on having Lisa, my very dear wonderful friend, to be in my wedding party.
I previously didn’t add her because I really didn’t think it was ‘appropriate’ to include her. I have no clear idea why. I love her a lot and we have been close since our days of packing stupid shelves in a stupid corner shop...I actually loved that job. But I haven’t been married before and I wasn’t sure the right people to ask. Colin and I decided that 4 was enough and like I previously said I chose the 4 that mean the most to me from different parts of my life. Lisa, I took for granted, I assumed well I knew that she would help me do anything for the big day without getting anything in return.

While my mother was here she asked me why Lisa isn’t going to be a bridesmaid and I had no answer for her. Of course I didn’t because Lisa is perfect to add as my fifth lady!
And so she is added and in her rightful place. 

The wedding is on the back burner right now as Colin and I arrange our future jaunt back to Korea. I am more excited about our American future and I'm over looking the actual thought of returning to the place I have spent too much time in. But we plan to save a lot of money and have the wedding, honeymoon and life of our dreams. Nothing big or over the top but secure and happy just as we like....with our 2 cats who hate the idea that we are returning to Korea and dragging them along for the ride. Maybe we will get them a dog.