School in Haiti and wonderful animal people

I wrote two pieces recently for the Wroclaw International English newspaper.

Here they are 

“Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world.” Nelson Mandela.

In January 2010 Haiti was struck by a devastating earthquake which was watched by many on the other side of the world. We shook our heads in dismay and sadness and then discussed it until the end of our double espresso and croissant. This is adequate time for such a topic and once it is over we move on. We are all guilty of such whimsical feelings and no one should really feel guilty about them however it is reassuring and somewhat comforting when we know that there are some people who will make that double espresso last a little while longer.

After scouring the internet I was pleasantly surprised to note that there have been more than a handful of individuals, groups, and countries that have pulled together to re-build Haiti and it was even nicer to hear that one such group comes from right here in Wroclaw. Recently I have been in touch with an architect by the name of Katarzyna Dabkowska who has been more than a little helpful in regards sharing information about her work and that of the rest of her team of 5 young architects from the city; Maciej Siuda, Lukasz Piasta, Marta Niedbalec, Kamil Rusinek and Jerzy Mazurkiewicz.

It all began in June 2011 as a competition ran by the charity foundation ‘Polska-Haiti’, the Polish Chamber of Architects, and the Polish Chamber of Civil Engineers. The requirement was to design a new school to be constructed in Jacmel a town deeply affected, not only by the infamous earthquake, but also by heavy rain falls, hurricanes, and cholera epidemics that have taken their toll on the people and the buildings. After sailing through two stages of the competition in May 2012 the group of Wroclawians took their prize of seeing their designs become a reality and began the arduous task of traveling to Haiti and building a school for the children who desperately seek an education. Unlike other children in the more fortunate parts of the World, the younger generation of Haiti has been forced to grow up quickly by the tragedies they have faced and have no choice but to carry the heavy burden and restore Haiti to an educated and therefore more prosperous nation.

The school is funded primarily by the Bishop Launay Saturne, Caritas Polska, and the charity foundation ‘Polska-Haiti’ and the aim is to have at least part of the school ready and able by September 2013, this will mean that the children can start learning at the start of the academic year. 

My main concern, when I heard about this project, was the sturdiness of the building. For a country that seems quite the target for mother nature’s bow and arrow how can one be sure that the new building will be able to withstand the possibly inevitable future disasters? It was also clear to the architects that there would be huge issues as the materials and technology available in Haiti are very different and somewhat lacking in comparison to what they were used to dealing with in Poland. Luckily though the idea is for these talented individuals to bring their knowledge over and put them to good use, knowledge they gained from Poland and so the project is being completed following and according to the Polish building code with the cooperation and expertise of engineers and specialists. Also all conditions have been taken into consideration and for areas which are more vulnerable to seismic activity the structure has been optimised. With the dry season lasting up to 3 months in Jacmel it is imperative that water is collected adequately throughout the rainy season and the construction of a deep well is in discussion. Through the rainy season the rain water is collected in pools on the roof which is then used in the kitchen and toilets to maintain sanitary conditions.

After just a few emails with Katarzyna Dabkowska I was amazed by her enthusiasm for such a strenuous task, it is both wonderful and astonishing that people with talents that could push them far in their own personal goals and aspirations are willing to take a step back and spend 2 -3 years building a school for people they hardly know.

I asked Miss Dabkowska what her thoughts were of the people she encountered in Haiti, “They are passive, they seem to struggle every day and continue to live on the rubbles and the ruins of their country but, like Wroclawians, they are warm and hospitable. “

The group, when in Haiti, were enthusiastically thrust into a sight seeing tour of, not only the city and buildings, but of places of natural beauty that seemed to have evaded the touch of the catastrophes that have plagued the country.

How astonishing that through such tragedies people can still stand up and introduce their place of birth with pride and a smile.

And as for the wonderful group of Wroclawians, they hope that when this project ends it will open the door to many more. It is an excuse to travel, to learn, and to integrate with other cultures but also for the simple fact that it brings different worlds together in working towards a common goal.

If you wish to know more about this project or to donate please visit the Polska-Haiti website. www.polska-haiti.org

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It may come as a surprise to some that Poland is actually the 4th largest producer of fur in the World, larger than the US even. Maybe one will have to wait for the devilishly cold winter months of January and February to truly witness the bundled up individuals riding the city trams with their fox tailed scarfs and rabbit eared hats. I didn’t quite lose my mouthful of water when I read the statistics but it did make me slightly twitch in my seat with unease. I am not judging fur connoisseurs but sadly there is a harsh reality that comes with the fur trade and that is how the animals are kept pre-skinning. 

An intervention occurred on a fox farm in April 2012, an anonymous informer had contacted  the animal protection society of Lower Silesia ‘Ekostraz’ to help the foxes that lived in diabolic conditions. In metal containers such as unused, old ovens in the heat of Polish summer without drinking water and left to breed in these conditions so as to produce more fur, the wonderful unpaid volunteers decided to take on legal action against the owner of the farm. 

It is reassuring to most that these kind of societies exist, we can relax in the knowledge that others are cleaning up the dirt of the inhumane and irresponsible however, everything has a price tag and Ekostraz, which is non-profit and one of it’s kind in the whole of Poland, needs money if it shall continue to fight the good fight. The reason they are one of a kind is that they not only protect those that we call ‘pets’ such as cats and dogs but also they work on protecting wild animals too; hedgehogs, squirrels,birds and such that happen to fall upon hard times. If they are able to be saved Ekostraz will pick them up in one of the few cars they have and nurse them back to health in a foster home. It is important to remember that zoos, other shelters and vets here in Wroclaw have little to no experience dealing with wild animals and so all work burdens the 20 or so Ekostraz members who see domestic pets and wild animals as equal when in need of help.

Unfortunately unless you seek out the Facebook page of Ekostraz or dine at Vega in the Rynek where many of their meetings and workshops have taken place then it is unlikely you, as a native English speaker, would have heard of them however it is good to know that most of their members speak English and although they do not have a shelter, per-se, to work at you can always provide a helping hand by donating, providing transport or even opening your home to animals that need a foster parent until they get permanently homed. All vets bills, food and equipment is provided and paid for all you have to do is have a furry yet very endearing house mate to stay for a while. They all come with a guarantee not to block your toilet, pile up the dirty dishes, and they will attend to you in whatever mood or state you find yourself in as long as you scratch behind their ears.

Also if you own a company here in Wroclaw and would like to sponsor a worth-while cause, a cause that is desperately seeking funds to purchase an incubator to help animals with respiratory issues as well as other vital equipment to keep them afloat please contact them by email info@ekostraz.pl or ‘phone 605782214.

How the Queen's speech should sound...

And so Christmas 2012 rolls in on Poland, foggy, damp, bleak and without a trace of snow as the Wroclaw God seems to have mistook yesterday for the 25th and today it has cleared up completely. It is hard realising that Christmas, although still a firm contender of mine as the best time of year, is never going to be quite as exciting as it was before I hit puberty.
Why was it exciting? because of the films, t.v adverts, abundance of food, people spending time with you (never mind the other 364 days of the year), music and of course... the presents! I was a child of consumerism and so is the majority of children that are born into a western life. I don't believe you could make this time of year as good as it was when I knew that I would wake up with more gifts than the sofa could comfortably hold.
I fear that Mine and Colin's choice of not having children puts us in a dangerous position in which one day (hopefully a long time from now) one of us will be spending Christmas time alone. That there will be no one around to care, love or to help us but that is a choice we made because it would be more selfish to have children when we are not 100% committed to having any.

These are the things I spend my Christmas time pondering about over a glass of red, staring at the walls and wondering, really?..what is this all about?
But it isn't rocket science, we are here and one day we wont be and you either spend your life accumulating wealth, things, and shallow relationships or you do your best to better you and the world.

My New Year's resolutions are going to be huge.

I plan to be the happiest, healthiest vegan I can be. I plan to be a poster child for the vegan movement and not to talk about the negative aspect too much...if you want to know about it you can find it out ..Veganism isn't a negative thing, it is empowering, challenging and worthwhile, therefore I will be as positive as I can be. (sadly this new year resolution includes *shudder* the gym)

I plan to be happy for everyone, my past life was, for a long time, churned up in jealousy and bitterness. I do not deserve to live like this, like wise all living beings should all live great lives, we are only around once don't forget!

My blog is going to grow (this will be the hardest to keep up) I plan to read the news each morning on the BBC and write my opinions on it. Too much news today is written so that people scroll through it quickly, getting lost in the muddle of confusing words and jargon. With dictionary at hand as my compass I will navigate my way around BBC online and research the net.

I plan to save for 2 major things;
my wedding that I started planning when I was 9 and was just waiting for the right man to knock on my door ( or pick me up in a bar..either way works) 
and for our home (condo, apartment) together in America. 
This year isn't about spending, holidays or extravagance it is about the future, it is about what we want and where we want to be.

..and so I wish all of you a wonderful and peaceful Christmas, it may not be as thrilling as it once was but it is a great time to reflect and smile. if you are warm, safe and loved you are certainly one of the lucky ones.
As am I.

Cheers

In the dog house

It has been so long since I wrote and I am trying to pick up the ...pen again but I haven’t had many deep, life-changing thoughts of late. 

However, I have added another bridesmaid HA. And I couldn’t be happier. 

My mother visited Wroclaw and Krakow about a month ago and it was her words that made me decide on having Lisa, my very dear wonderful friend, to be in my wedding party.

I previously didn’t add her because I really didn’t think it was ‘appropriate’ to include her. I have no clear idea why. I love her a lot and we have been close since our days of packing stupid shelves in a stupid corner shop...I actually loved that job. But I haven’t been married before and I wasn’t sure the right people to ask. Colin and I decided that 4 was enough and like I previously said I chose the 4 that mean the most to me from different parts of my life. Lisa, I took for granted, I assumed well I knew that she would help me do anything for the big day without getting anything in return.

While my mother was here she asked me why Lisa isn’t going to be a bridesmaid and I had no answer for her. Of course I didn’t because Lisa is perfect to add as my fifth lady!
And so she is added and in her rightful place. 

The wedding is on the back burner right now as Colin and I arrange our future jaunt back to Korea. I am more excited about our American future and I'm over looking the actual thought of returning to the place I have spent too much time in. But we plan to save a lot of money and have the wedding, honeymoon and life of our dreams. Nothing big or over the top but secure and happy just as we like....with our 2 cats who hate the idea that we are returning to Korea and dragging them along for the ride. Maybe we will get them a dog.

I forgot

I am about to marry a great man and when you are about to marry a great man it is easy to forget their greatness because it is ever present.
Here is a poem for Colin Ross Culbreth, who gives me foot massages when I ask even though he has herniated discs in his neck, who makes me nap when there is cleaning to be done because he would rather clean himself than to hear me stress, who carries my bags and listens to me whine after I have had too much wine, who puts up with me gyrating to Backstreets back (not as pretty as it sounds) and loves me regardless of it all...

I love you Colin ...and here is my answer

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
And here's the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the cats start to cry
And if we hear a knocking
And it's creepy and it's late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.

Yes I'll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It's you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour
Should our future dog attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It's you that has to whack him.

Yes, I'll marry you,
You're virile and you're lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
you specialize in potato wedges,
You can cook them every night!

It's you who has to work the most
and put up a curtain track,
And when I've got PMS it's you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!

The 4 horsewomen

So the vegan gets her day and in (approximately) exactly 2 years time the day of my dreams since forever ago will happen.
I knew the ring was coming. One could say my boyfriend, now fiancé, was under duress and being continually pushed to deliver the goods but let's be honest all he had to do was pay, he got out of it quite easily, my want to have a stone on my finger symbolising that I am in the mad process of planning a wedding just allowed him to escape planning a romantic and expensive trip to propose in an old fashioned surprising way.
Looking back I don't regret it.
Colin and I are not one of the great romantics of the past, we are just best friends who love each other. We except each other for who we are and we cry, smile and laugh together. Every time i have to spend even a night away from him I ache, this is what our marriage will be built on; friendship. I cannot ever express how lucky I am that I found a man who completely respects me, who never makes me cry and believes what I believe. Remembering how much I wanted to wed since I was young makes me shudder at the thought that I could have, quite easily, married the wrong person.
But this is it.
My proposal was done when in our pjs in our apartment in Poland with our cats and laughter. It was beautiful.

As I crazily wedding plan I cannot help but be happy with the bridesmaids I have chosen. I wanted 4 or more but Colin should have somewhat of a say and so I compromised and chose 4. The girls individually are beautiful people and together they represent important parts and groups of friends in my life.

Jen has been there for me since I began my travels in Australia. As I wedding plan I realise how much more she needed me when planning her own wedding and I failed as a bridesmaid. I chose her because, first, it was a foregone conclusion but also because I need her. Even in Australia it seemed I couldn't quite function without her and she was my guardian and quite possibly THE funniest girlfriend in my life.
I hope she forgives me for being a terrible friend but deep down I know she knows what to expect from me and that she is my rock.
I love her and that is all.
Alison and I have known each other since competing in netball. I was always better than her and luckily she still loved me :)
When she chose me to be a bridesmaid for her beautiful day I think I was more shocked than anything. Although we are close we had lived 2 separate lives for a very long time and I wasn't expecting her to choose me.
I was completely and utterly moved.
I believe Alison and I have a relationship that isn't much to see on the surface but when you look underneath it is unwavering. She goes above and beyond for me whenever she can and I couldn't imagine this event without her.
Still the cutest girl in the world!
Jenelle is my representation from Changwon, a place that challenged me more emotionally than anywhere else in my life. I had incredible heartache and incredible happiness whilst there. I grew and there were wonderful girls who were there for me in this time.
Jenelle, however, is hands down one of the most beautiful women I have ever met and I am sad that she doesn't always realise it. She always puts others first and even if they hurt her she blames herself and works effortlessly to put everything right. She works to help the planet and tries always to be a better person. I want her to stand beside me representing the beauty of the world and because she was the girl who told me I was unhappy when I was unhappy and also was there when I got so blind drunk and met my future husband!
An angel.
Sarah, a girl who represents my time and the beautiful people I met in Incheon and my first year in Korea. Always emailing me her life and so interested in mine, I cannot see our future without each other in it. Genuinely always bursting with happiness for me whatever happens in my life and the coolest girl I know. I am still baffled why she is single and hasn't fallen into the arms of a musician yet but I bide my time and keep her invitation open for 2 because it is only a matter of time.
I am always grateful for her words and her understanding and can't wait to have a party, a glass of champagne and a dance with her on my perfect day.

These girls will be beautiful on my day and I know that I need them to look my best! 

I have my guy but I need my girls.

Why I am who I am

I haven’t written an entry for a while. A lot has happened.

Today I will concentrate on addressing a very personal issue. An issue that others do not seem to understand or are able to get their heads around, ironically I can’t get my head around the fact that they can’t get their head around it....

A while ago, a few years back actually, I toyed with the notion of becoming a vegan but at that time I was not ready and I continued to label myself a vegetarian and was content. A few months ago I became a vegan, I was ready but sadly the world around me wasn’t.

I have had numerous debates, confrontations, arguments, tears have fallen, and all because I don’t want to eat dairy anymore. I am not harming anyone else, I still sacrifice myself for those I love, if a dear friend wants to eat meat I never have and never will say a word and will even accompany them to a restaurant. Throughout my time in Korea I did nothing but attend BBQ restaurants with exes and girlfriends so that I never was an annoyance to anyone and because I love them dearly. I am not a confrontational person, I wither under the stress of it and I know that those who love me know I am here if they want a serious discussion on the issue.

**Friends, if any of you really, truly want to ask me questions about my lifestyle choices it would warm my heart to discuss it with you**

Sadly, those who I considered friends and loved ones have attacked me and I dare say they do not understand the affect this has had on me.

I cannot help the person I have become. I am grateful for what I know and how I deal with it, I am sure it would be easier for those around me if I was a human rights advocate. This is something people respect and understand, I admire those who use their life to help other human beings. Colin and I made it a goal to always give money to those we pass on the streets, whether we think it is a good idea or not I still believe that given a choice NO ONE would beg for money. I can spare it. Today I bought a bag of clothes, a mish mash of unnecessary crap and because I do that I have no right to walk past a person and not offer some comfort.

But I am not a human rights activist, I am not a non-human rights activist, but it is not how my brain is programmed. I am an animal rights activist (or wish I was) I have sympathy with those without a voice, I weep for them and I wish their pain would go away. If this truly makes me a bad person then I apologize now but I will never be able to switch off to the suffering that happens every 12 seconds! 

I am not here to prove something but I really want those who know me to try and wear my non-leather shoes for 2 seconds. Every time someone asks me a question in relation to being a vegan it is clear to me the answer is not what they seek, they seek justification for what they do. I don’t want to give this anymore. I do not judge but I can not mother you and tell you what you do is fine because I know how the world has become corrupt and how the human ego is too big for the future to be able to handle.

Why am I vegan?

Recently I was asked this question and it brought me to tears because as I was saying my answer I know it was being interpreted and changed so that the ear it was funneling into could feel satisfaction that I am simply an abnormal loon.

Dairy is natural. Yes of course it is, for cows. For humans it is not. We are the only species that consume milk beyond our childhood and it isn’t even our own mothers. 

Would you care for a glass of dog milk? When I ask this question is seems ridiculous but to a vegan this is synonymous to would you like a glass of cow milk? What about monkey milk, the closest animal to us, wouldn’t this make more logical sense?

“Osteoporosis is a condition of abnormal porousness of bone resulting from gradual bone loss, leading to increased fractures, loss of height, hip and back pain, and spinal curvature. The disease affects about 25% of postmenopausal women in the US. Since osteoporosis is a disease of bone loss, and since 99% of the body's calcium is found in bone, it certainly seems logical that if people eat as much calcium as possible, osteoporosis risk may be diminished. The Dairy People capitalize on this idea by constantly reminding us that dairy products constitute some of the richest sources of calcium in the supermarket (never mind that calcium is found in varying amounts in all fruits, vegetables, and grains). But this "you need your milk" idea is not universally accepted.The truth is, there has been little or no success in preventing osteoporosis by eating dairy products. Plainly and simply, when enough calcium is consumed to prevent deficiency (which is much lower than the Recommended Dietary Allowance), taking in excess does little more than put a person at risk for kidney stones. In fact, Americans consume excessively large quantities of calcium, yet risk of osteoporosis continues to threaten millions of Americans. Most people are not aware that the US already has one of the highest calcium intakes in the world. Calcium deficiency caused by an insufficient amount of calcium is not known to occur in humans, even though most people in the world don't drink milk after weaning because of custom, lactose intolerance, or unavailability. In fact, nations with the highest levels of dairy consumption are the same nations with the highest rates of osteoporosis.” Taken from an article by the Michigan state University.

http://www.healthaliciousness.com/articles/foods-high-in-calcium.php

If you look at the above link you will note that cheese is ranked number 2 as highest foods rich in calcium, and yes that goes against my argument, but does it? really? Other dairy products are number 7 and cheese has a lot done to it before it gets to our table. Flax seeds, herbs, almonds, tofu and sesame seeds are all above milk and guess what? that is exactly what vegans eat!!  It angers me that when we are growing up all ads are veered towards dairy. ‘drink milk’ and the (in)famous white mustache when there are no ads telling parents to feed their children fruits, vegetables and seeds! Doesn’t that make anyone else pissed? *sigh* probably not.

Aside from the fact that I believe all this above, dairy is also considered a more brutal process than meat consumption. Don’t get me wrong we all know how I feel about meat consumption but the agricultural dairy factory farms in most countries has become a dark and dismal torture chamber. To get milk one must be pregnant, the cows are artificially inseminated and once they give birth the calf is dragged away. The mother bellows for her calf for weeks and the calf doesn’t get any of her mother’s milk. 

We do.

The calf’s fate, well what is the profitable use for a baby?
I have had people hate on me for saying this about the dairy farming industry and I know there are some ethical farms left but while there are some that are not, you can keep your milk.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BPRq7wVpkY

One last comment, I have had numerous people unable to comprehend the fact that vegetarians/ vegans desire the taste of meat. I cannot comprehend how this is not comprehendible.
I am not going to even begin to argue that meat is not delicious. Although it has been 11 years since I tasted any I still salivate at the smell of a BBQ. I am human after all and the restaurants use the spices and herbs, sauces and ingredients available to them to make food as appealing as possible.
I loved the taste of meat but I cannot allow an animals to be abused the way it is just because I want a burger for a 30 second thrill.

I do not NEED meat, simply put, and so I choose not to eat it and instead I replace it with food that makes me feel that I am ‘normal’ and part of the majority. 
Please feel free to contact me if you truly desire more information and not just to attack me but other than that there are sources available to everyone (Information is FREE) and if you really want to know the answers than you can find them.

Yin Yang of the mind

I want to fill my friends in on my life in Poland, but be warned the philosopher that lurks within will sum up with a chilling note.

About a month ago I was employed by Queen’s school of English, a reputable language school that I adore. Before this I was working for a fiend and so I escaped relatively unhurt but well and truly unpaid, the thought of those 5am wake ups that I could have spent in my warm bed annoys me but alas, one lives and one learns. I teach just under 20 hours and as the summer approaches I will be working less but as September roles around I am pretty sure that my hours will increase and that summer will be a glorious blur for which I will wish to return.

I am busy, extremely, I feel very out of my depth and to avoid drowning I am spending my days, between classes, planning and prepping and trying to avoid any pitfalls of grammar and vocabulary. 

We study Polish twice a week and it is safe to say if I was my own student there would be blood spilt. Homework is rarely done and progress is slow from lack of self-study, too busy, too tired and too unmotivated!
Our cats are amazing we rescued Pierogi (Piggy) from a shelter. She was actually in a pet store and when Colin saw her his eyes turned to mush, I had to become the tough one *sigh*

My first thought was why was she in a pet store? I don’t believe in buying from a pet store when abused, neglected, abandoned animals need us more. We enquired, it was a way of advertising the shelter, getting a home for the cat (they put a different cat in the pet store every fortnight or so) and the pet store sells the food at the time of adoption everyone is a winner, especially Colin, I had no excuse, we wanted a cat she needed humans. We could always provide for her, even if things got too tough. So we packed her up and she moved in. It took a few days but she was definitely our cat and she definitely felt at home. Numerous occasions we had to put the sofa and bedding in the washing machine!! And as Pierogi started her 3am play sessions we knew it was time to adopt a second. I desperately wanted another, I feared that I wanted another because the excitement of Pierogi had warn off, like a kid with their Christmas toys 3 days later, but I now know that is rubbish! I also wanted another cat for Pierogi. She was an indoor cat and her excitement and energy was completely reliant on 2 humans who came home, drank a beer, and sleepwalked into bed every night. I felt guilty every day and needed a feline to take my burden!
James, aka Jimmy. It took weeks before we got him and we longed for him all that time. We asked for a black female and we got a white, with some black, male. We couldn’t be happier, he is our baby and our family is complete.He came from a sad background that can be summed up in a picture that was taken of him as a kitten all together with bloody nose and a dirty body. Pierogi found things hard at first, a stranger moving in but now that she can play and chase and fight for hours then she is content.
Also, so far, she hasn’t pee’d where she shouldn’t. We, of course, take lots of precautions but it still could be a sign that all she needed was her friend.

Wroclaw is a really great city, there are always things to see and do but sadly we don’t really have the time or energy to always see and do these things, but at least we know they exist and when wonderful people come to visit over the summer we will partake. We will meet each others parents and we will sit in the Rynek (market square) drinking a beer and loving things, even if money is tight. Money is a necessity, sadly, but will never make me as happy as my life right now does.
I do not dread my job every time the alarm rings, like I did in Korea, but I long for the evenings and weekends so I can spend them with my ‘family’. 

________________________________________________________________________

 Things are going really swimmingly in my life right now but as I write my face book status’ I always feel a huge pang of guilt. I am being melodramatic of course but why on earth should I be this lucky? and why on earth should I be proud of it?

It is maybe politically incorrect for me to say this next statement but, as always, I will. I am lucky first and foremost for being born white and secondly I speak English as my first language. It is a sad world that we live in when these happen to be partial reasons for my wide set grin.

Of course I have had heartbreak and financial panic, I have had times of deep set depression that covered me like a thick blanket and chocked me. I have had tears and blood, sweat, and nerves.
I have had, what seems to be the new coined term, first world problems. Maybe I should boast that I am lucky because it fills me with appreciation for what I have and what I never had to have. I am still a million miles away from knowing or understanding the inevitable results of poverty. I can watch t.v or read newspapers, I could even volunteer and help, but I will still be wearing clothes, eating, and even if I decide to ‘camp’ to try and open my eyes to the life of others I know that this isn’t ‘it’ for me. 

‘The American dream’ is; knowing every day you can afford to hope. What if you went to sleep every night and knew that life will never get better, would you bother to dream ?

I am not sure when society became a twisted checkers match but humans abused humans and my beaming smile that appears when I wake up next to Colin, hear my cats purr, or await an impending trip just adds to the inequality of the game. 

I do not need to prove my luck or happiness because I was born into it.

My ex boyfriend was a rat bag, but to be honest these words are not even said with venom, I still have everything I went into the relationship with. I still had the opportunity to ‘have’ that relationship. Everything I do must be appreciated rather than taken for granted.

I will never wish my hand was dealt differently but I know there are thousands upon thousands of people who would give anything and everything, an ironic statement in itself, for a day in my shoes. Isn’t that tragic and yet guiltily fulfilling all at the same time?

I am lucky and I am happy and I will cease to declare it, there is little necessity for obvious passionate vents.

In response

To the girl who is me,

A week or so ago I received an email from a girl who I was with in Korea. She told me that she had included me in her blog and hopes that I didn't mind. HA, of course I didn't I love myself and when people talk about me I love it even more. 

To summarise, she wrote how we had never been emotionally close in Korea (true) and that it may be due to the fact that we are very similar (true) and also making bad choices on both parts (true)

I cannot remember a time, in my past, when I didn't make bad choices. It seems at the golden age of 28 I am becoming wiser but for the duration of my existence I did the wrong thing. I learnt and I am here today happier and healthier, but I still have my regrets.

I remember the girl in question backing my decisions to date my ex boyfriend. He was a bad egg and I have said, on numerous occasions, that he is possibly the biggest regret of my life (more on him when i can be bothered). The girl said that you cannot regret decisions that become mistakes but learn from them. I still do not believe this, I don't believe that if I hadn't dated my ex than I wouldn't have become who I am today. I still could have found myself and the wonderful man I am with now just without the trauma of the past. Who knows? 

Anyway, I was bullied in school a lot ( I have mentioned this in a previous blog and won't dwell on it too much) because of my looks. A ridiculous notion really, looks do not maketh the man..idiots! However, when I left school my mother did a marvellous thing, she said that if I so wished I could have contact lenses. WOOOOOT..oh and then I dyed (and subsequently damaged) my hair, blonde! It was the new me and I was excited. I got attention. It still took a while. Beauty is not only in how you look but how you act and present yourself. You cannot hope to put some makeup on and meet the boys. You must ooze confidence then the men shall come, like bees to honey (yes, I totally hear myself ..gross). 

This post is going crazy right now and I am losing track.

What I am trying to say is, I got the confidence and I became someone I didn't respect anymore. I could see this in the other girl. I feared she was making the same mistakes I had. She too was bullied and now was getting a lot of attention. It is enjoyable until it is not enjoyable anymore. I feared she would be stung like I had been many-a-time. 

Unfortunately, I had not finished my silly behaviour and when I dumped the ex, I again birthed the monster I had worked so hard to kill. This is how and when me and the girl came to truly 'hate' each other. 

We were each other and there is only room for one.

It is all very childish, regrettable and unnecessary but it happened and I hope we have both moved past the hate for each other and ourselves.

Not everyone can be friends but they can find the goodness in each other. Hate is such an exhausting emotion and I am over it.

The shallow reasons for my choices

There are 4 reasons why people teach ESL in another country. 
1) Professional experience
2) Cultural enlightenment
3) Gap year
4) Escape life and get drunk
I was the 4th and after 5 years and too many hangovers I have become the 2nd.
I blame the education system ( well, I have to blame someone) at 18 years old I still relied on my mother to make onion gravy the way I like it and I had no idea what a penis looked like, other than the porno my brother left in his VCR one day. “Summer Girls get hot” It is safe to say 10 years later, I now know how to make onion gravy and am severely disappointed in the latter.
So if one is unable to know what life is about, how is it ever possible to decide on your future? To spend a lot of money, that you could possibly spend a life time paying back, and a lot of time studying something that does not interest you or make any kind of sense. I don’t believe the system works and am sad that it fails so many people every year.
I decided that because I was ok at English throughout school I should do English at University, if I had my time again I think only now would I really appreciate the choices that I had, the different courses I could have sunk my teeth into and been able to gorge on every piece of information. Journalism, creative writing, media I would have wanted to do it all, but I was rushed and I chose to study Dickens and Poe. Great writers that I used as coasters for my beer.
So what should one do when they study English? Travel the world and talk, a lot!
I have collected a plethora of memories from my experience and I will say that I am satisfied with my life’s journey, I am proud of how I used my ‘mistake’ to explore my mind and discover what and who I want to be.
My 4 tips to ESL teaching (all spawned from true and satirical incidents)
1) Do not, under any circumstances, judge a family by how they dress their child. Do not laugh out-loud at a kid when their second language is English, and more importantly, never explain his shirt to him.
Walking through the halls of the second Korean school I taught at, a child, knee high, ran up to me and pulled at my top. I looked down at the 5 year old who adored his teacher and whose teacher could think of a thousand places she would rather be right now (on a beach, in a bar on a beach, in a bar on a beach with Ryan Gosling) but I bit my tongue and smiled and looked down at the child. He wanted to show me his classwork, I could not stop reading his shirt. The desire to run to my computer and update my facebook status was too great and I left the child in mid-sentence
Facebook status - A 5 year old’s t.shirt reads; ‘it won’t lick itself’

2) Read through your notes the day before you teach. Don’t wing it because sometimes things come up that you were not expecting and it could get awkward and, somewhat, embarrassing.
Teaching the phrase ‘It turns out’ needs more preparation. A group of Polish adults looked blankly at me as I tried to explain how it means ‘finally’ or as ‘conclusion’ to something, when one woman turns to me and says ‘to turn on someone?!’ Oh the horror, as I go red I feel that is my duty to tell this woman that she must NEVER use this phrase in Business with an English speaking company!
3)Always enjoy the moments that make you laugh out loud, the students may never understand your seemingly loss of sanity but it will, in the end, keep you sane.
Conducting a role play, I gave each student a job description for themselves. One man was from a law firm, called ‘Black and White’ and he worked on mergers and acquisitions. Introducing himself he says ‘Hello I am a liar’
Possibly the smartest student in my class!
4)Expect the awkward moments when things that we say do not translate into other languages so easily.
Having a party at my home, I decided to invite a co-teacher who seemed lonely and in need of friends being the extremely wonderful person I am I went and met her on the street to direct her to the place.
Me ‘ah, I am so happy you came!!’ 
Her ‘why?’
*silence* 

Eating my words!

Something wonderful happened to me recently whilst living in Wroclaw
(question; can I still write 'whilst?' because I sincerely love that word!)
Anyway I heard about a relatively new English newspaper made in Wroclaw. The Wroclaw International.
 This is not only amazing for knowing the great, cool things that happen here but, of course, I really wanted to have the opportunity to write for them!
I begged in emails, attended a monthly party, and then I was invited to a meeting.
Yes, I was in !


My first piece has been submitted, shockingly I am writing about animal things (as well as anything else I can think of submitting along the way).  I am very grateful for this opportunity.
I have just interviewed a wonderful woman who spends her days rescuing animals and she, and her organisation, will be the focus of my next piece. But until then here is my small article on Vegan ice cream, now selling in the middle of my awesome city!

The natural taste of Italy

The dark skies are lifting from over Wroclaw and people are coming out from hibernation, it is the start of the summer time. Clothes are getting lighter, smiles are getting wider, and the demand for refreshments is rising.  Although the majority of people in Poland, and the world, do not yet follow a ‘meat free’ lifestyle it is safe to say that the masses are now demanding healthier products on the market. Chowing down on a chocolate bar is a temporary satisfaction and many, especially us women, feel guilty about what was an extremely short lived pleasure.  But alas, a genius has been born, Giuseppe Lamardini, the creator of an all natural ice cream.  The Vegans are rubbing their hands together in glee as yet another completely cruelty-free product emerges, defying all skepticism. 

Giuseppe uses, not only, 100% natural ingredients to make his gelato taste unique but seemingly defies the laws of ‘ice cream’ physics by using: carrot, beet, tomato, pumpkin, and even Spirulina.  Spirulina, in some circles, is known as a superfood with it’s richness in proteins, vitamins, and minerals. It has even been placed as number one on a list of the five foods that can add years to your life (by the AARP). It seems Lamardini knows what he is doing; rejuvenating a classic.  At the age of 20, Lamardini moved to Italy where he learned how to produce Gelato (Italian for Ice cream). He and his Polish wife’s dream was to create an ice cream that does not exploit animals. He created the “Gelati Giuseppe” and began to sell it from a quaint little shop in Sopot, Poland. 

Luckily for Wroclaw, the considerate people at VEGA have brought the ice cream to the Rynek for 4 zloty a scoop!

VEGA, an establishment set picturesquely on Sukiennice street next to the city hall, has been serving health conscience people for 25 years. Of course, in 1987 Poland, it was a little more difficult to start a business selling salads instead of vodka and sausages but it has survived and every year Rafal Patkowski (Manager of VEGA) has witnessed a consistent rise in the vegetarian ideals of both young and old. Everything served at VEGA is homemade and this ice cream is no exception.

Out of 38 of Giuseppe’s ice creams VEGA provides 8, and the flavors will vary over the course of the summer. In an interview, Patkowski announced boldly that his favorite flavor was grapefruit and I couldn’t help but grimace because grapefruit, in it’s natural form, is incredibly sour and the ice cream is a perfect replica. Luckily for me Patkowski allowed me to sample the other, less sour, flavors such as chocolate, mango, pineapple, and I will say that I may return for Lemon with spirulina more than a few times, it is light, fresh, healthy and perfect for a sunny day walking around the beautiful city of Wroclaw.

Can ice cream be dairy-free and still be delicious? It seems so.

The second beating

So, after my last blog, about bullying, Colin told me that maybe I should try and be more clear in my message. I deviate very easily from the topic but that is just how I write. 

I wrote this piece about 6 months ago and I think it sums up what I was trying to say in my last post..

I was a victim of bullying but I, in no way believe that gives me any excuse to bully others. Whether it be to physically hurt another living creature, say mean words to a friend, or to even gossip.

Of course, what girl hasn't gossiped in her life? Age will mature me and hopefully eliminate the need to do this in my future.

Buddhism:

It has always been a challenge for me to discipline myself to do any kind of research on anything. It is an even greater challenge for me to discipline myself to do research on the major religions of this world. I believe this is because of fear and ignorance but most of all because of loyalty, Loyalty to the religion that I have known since I was a child. A religion that cradled me when my dear Grampa left, a religion that gave me friendship when I lacked that in school

However, if I am ever going to find the best course for me, discover the 'answer' to what life is All about .. then surely this IS the only way to do it! 

I read 'the essence of Buddhism' on my plane ride between Kuala Lumpar and London. A 13 hour journey thats boredom screamed the need to be annihilated. I slept a lot so I tried to find my enlightenment there but, after a serious ache in my knees and a realization that if I keep sleeping then jet lag is gonna really rear its ugly head, I decided to pull myself together and pass the time another way…Religious study ! 

I am pleasantly surprised by Buddhist study , geeez my mother would pull out her hair (then mine) if she heard me! But yep, buddhism or the 'essence' of it, at least, is pretty beautiful!

It deals more with ones self than the requirement to please another (such as a god) I am not sure about the golden fat buddha and how he relates to the 'story' but once I gain internet connection on solid ground I will find that out.

The self and it's connection to suffering, addressing the fact that the world is essentially evil because of human choices. Suffering is inevitable but if one leads a life of that fully accepts the idea that they will suffer at one stage or another than one can live in a peaceful existence. 

For example. John loves his rich lifestyle. He loves to entertain his friends and prepares huge dinners whenever they come over.

John avoids knowledge of  the suffering of the world. He enjoys expensive vacations, he has a great health plan, he is ignorant to the misery of the poor.

John will encounter suffering at one time or another, it is unavoidable, yet John has worked so tirelessly to ignore it, that when it comes it is like an earthquake, an electric current through his entire body. He cannot handle it and begins to fall apart. His attachment to the ego has caused his mind to be shut off from the reality of the world. If he had prepared himself, if he had listened to those that suffer everyday from the animals to the children to the adults and lived a life that, in no way, causes unnecessary pain to others he would be able to concentrate on life's simple pleasures. Instead, in hard times, he cries out 'why me?' rather than 'why not me? Which question has a more positive answer?

In some ways I should be thankful that I do not have riches like John, it is actually a great starting block. It gives me the ability that John does not have, the ability to suffer and to slowly adapt to it. If I gain riches I hope that I am prepared to facilitate them in ways that can end some suffering.

My favourite aspect of buddhism lies in the devotion to living a life that is morally 'right.'

Channel ones mind on the reality of the world rather than being distracted by temptations or the mind's interpretation of what is real. 

Do nothing that will cause suffering to others. Use actions and speech that are not used for sexual gratification, used to be malicious or are driven by hate.

In other words, live a life that leaves the smallest negative imprint on others.

Big bad Bullies

I am writing a completely outrageous blog post, and because no one seems to really read my blog other than my future (if Colin gets his finger out) mother-in-law and Colin himself, I can write what I want and not care for consequences..hoorah!

First issue of the day

* Bullying *

I have been talking and thinking about this subject all my life and recently it seems to have come up a lot in blogs and the news.

This week I have even been doing it with one of my adult classes (ok, I mentioned it and they queried on the spelling...I hold that up as a thorough discussion)

Earlier this year I sent two emails out to two fb friends to apologise for the way I treated them in school. I was jealous of them, their individualism and their lack of need to hurt others. Bullying makes one 'think' they are at an advantage and that they are superior..

*bullshit*

These two beautiful women are successful in that they have happiness now, I didn't contribute to this happiness and that's not how I want to live.

I bullied them because I was in agony inside.

I don't believe in Karma. No paths I choose will directly effect the next stage in my life.

Bullies very rarely get what's coming to them, especially if they are the every day verbal, mocking bullies who don't really understand the consequences or the pain they cause.

Let me give you some examples;

*Everyday the girl, that is the most popular and everyone wants to be, takes another, significantly less popular, girl's blackcurrant juice and the the latter girl is somewhat fearful of ever saying no.

Is that bullying? Does the popular girl ever realise how inferior she makes the other girl?

*A geeky girl, not yet reaching her attractive peak, wears her heart on her sleeve and allows a boy to know she likes him his response is;

"I would rather *&%@ a dead dog that is 6 feet under"

Is that bullying? Or did the boy have a right to say that to rid himself of any possible advances by the undesirable?

*Sitting on a bus to go home from school, a girl sits next to her best friend and shares her headphones, a boy from the back of the bus tells the latter that it is 'disgusting' to allow the former to share the headphones.

Is that bullying? Is that wrong when it actually brings me to tears right now to remember my memories of school?

These, of course, are my stories and they stay with me for life. I have many more, of my house being egged, of vile verbal words thrown at me in the street and yet no one would really consider me as being a victim of bullying because these stories, individually, are not that horrific.

And those involved in these memories are all successful, happy people.

They do not and will not ever know that they stay in my mind forever. I will never 'get over it' in an attempt to be a better person, I can't, I am human after all.

Again, I don't believe in karma, consequences for bullying will only happen if the person happens to want a clear conscience, has an open mind and a good heart.

I was once a somewhat religious person. My mother is a Born again Christian. I was raised by her and she is the most wonderful person in the world. Now I have met the second most wonderful person in the world, he is my future and he is an Atheist.

My mind has become a battlefield, I adore two people who both have such strong faith in what they believe and 'know' that it is the truth.

I have started to lean towards the belief that there is no god, that we are not as spiritual, as impressive and as wonderful as we think we are.

We are actually nothing

I have a cat and she is too beautiful for words (except that she is biting my toe in bed as I write this) . We got her as a kitten and there is nothing , bar size, that would lead one to believe she is a baby. She is independent, she learned to walk, play, jump, run all alone. She is a miracle. Humans are not. We need our parents until we are 18 years old (beyond that for some).

We come out of the womb and would perish without other humans, we are a race of dependants.

The only thing we have that is superior is our language and the fact that we have domesticated animals to control as we want.

Is it cruel that I keep my cat indoors, so that if she ever was called to the wild (her rightful home) she would not be able to survive?

Is it cruel that we take chimps from their mothers and put them in labs so that we can decide if they are smart?

Is it cruel that beagle dogs are put into cages, for life, so that we know if our mascara will be water proof or not?

If there is no god, then there is no consequences to what we do to another race. Animals (dinosaurs) were here before us, they belong more than we. We are supposed to live with the earth, not control it. We were born naked, fragile and as guests on Earth. Our egos have destroyed the balance.

In school I knew nothing but school. I couldn't see past the gates, I couldn't understand that in a few years I would never have to see those people again and that I could, if I wanted, defriend them from fb !!!

Children see school as everything and it saddens me that some are so miserable and involved that they resort to taking their own life.

These 'victims' are the people we need in order for the Earth to survive, these children with good hearts that know what it feels like to be trapped, attacked, inferior.

I believe I was born because I am just part of another race, I am nothing special. I work, eat and love but that won't help me when I am dead. It's just the cycle, but while I am here I tend to leave the smallest footprint.

My cat will be adored because she is far greater than I am.

I will try and make those around me happy.

I will love rather than hate.

Bullying isn't just the big things it is in everything.

The Kimchi Field Museum in Seoul has documented 187 historic and current varieties of kimchi

Is Korea a racist society?

This is probably one of the largest debatable questions among visitors to Korea.

What is racism anyway?

Is it the hatred of another race or is it the ignorance of another race?

When I worked in Perth, Australia I kept the money rolling in by working at a bar and getting my dollars ‘under the table’ I loved it. I wasn’t an impressive barmaid and I certainly could not throw together a cocktail and blow up a sambuca but I was able to pour a pint of beer and flash the older male customers a flirtatious smile to keep them happily desiring more alcohol. I worked for a South Korean, his name was Dan and he was gorgeous!

Yellow fever The best infliction to have ever hit caucasians. Signs of having contracted yellow fever includes extreme attraction and affection towards Asians of the opposite sex. urban dic.

Although seemingly a politically incorrect term, people use, ‘yellow fever’ today to describe the attraction many foreigners have towards those of asian decent. Foreign men adore Korean women.

It is not hard to understand why, they are beautiful, have fabulous shiny hair (put down to the lack of need to continually color) slim and because of the confucian ideals that never seem to completely disappear, they are far more submissive and seemingly dependent than western women! (more on this later)

Dan was the first Korean I had ever spent time with and I liked him immediately. Every night, when the bar got quiet and being a bar that attracted more old, widowed men than Thursday night student parties we had a lot of down time, we would sit down on a table and talk. He was married and had a baby son living with him in Australia and so my chances of a Korean marriage were out of the window (blast) but nevertheless we talked and I enjoyed learning about a place I knew much too little about.

“May I ask you a question Ruth?”
“Of course Dan” (All too eager to please the handsome boss)
“Why don’t western people know the differences between Korean, Chinese and Japanese people?”

In Australia it was hard for me to spread my cultural wings, I had come from a predominantly white country to another and although I would say I am neither racist nor ignorant of other races I had never immersed myself in anything but white and this question took me by surprise. I was suddenly, for the first time, being faced with how the world is, a patch work quilt of numerous shapes and colors and it is no longer acceptable to have a blanket of one tone stitching.

I was not equipped to answer the question and explained in my inadequate vocabulary that it is ignorance NOT arrogance that has people confused. This, although a pretty accurate explanation if I do say so myself, had no evidential backing, I had absolutely no reason for making this statement and thanked the Lord that Dan nodded his head and dismissed me instead of continuing to probe.
I was just out of University when I made my big trip to Australia and it seems school does not teach you much more than how to get a job. It teaches you about work not about life, nothing you need to understand, appreciate or know about the big, bad world will be learnt in a classroom. I enrolled to be a student of life when I turned 27, I will probably be studying forever!

Dan, by posing this question, seemed to be suggesting that a westerners inability to determine the nationality of an asian, merely by appearance, is nothing less than a derogatory slur on another culture. I do not believe this is the case. What is the difference between this and a Korean unable to identify a European from a Canadian?

The difference is the reaction.

White people have never known discriminated against because they/we are the powerful elite (according to history and according to them/ourselves)

Racism is the result of power trips and minority groups do not have the numbers to achieve this, it is only through time and [somewhat] civilized morals that the powerful have loosened their grip on the elite positions (although not entirely)

White people have no issues with the ‘mistaken’ identity of themselves with another white race because their confidence is unrivaled, especially in comparison to those races that have faced and still do face discrimination.

Dan had a pretty successful position. He was manager of a bar and run a bottle shop, which was located in a side room within the bar. He wore a suit every day and I have no doubt led a relatively comfortable lifestyle. With his expertise in ‘taekwon Do’ the Korean martial art that all children, especially boys, practice regularly as they grow up, Dan was the guy to call if there was any trouble in the bar. There was only one bar maid on duty at a time and this could be rather intimidating even if the regulars were over 60! When a person drinks there is no telling what the result can be. I had the power to ‘cut people off’ but some people just didn’t want to get ‘cut off.’ I remember a time when a male Aborigine came in, he was a hard worker and came in for well deserved pint every so often, this one time he had quite a few, well deserved pints. He became obnoxious and I called Dan for assistance. The topic became racist and my comfort zone was well and truly blown apart. Dan was receiving a lot of unfair abuse about coming to Australia and not belonging but luckily this guy was no match for ‘Taekwan Do’ Dan who removed his abusive ass onto the streets of Perth.

A minority attacking a minority, does this happen? Why does this happen? I should be the one attacked, I was working for cash, I was spending my spare time drinking at bars and getting up to wild and wonderful things with other like-minded backpackers. I was definitely not thinking about how I could contribute to Australia, let alone the world. I do forgive myself, I was having a ‘time’ and now I have packed away my party shoes and put on some slippers, but why was Dan being attacked?

He was the hard worker, paying his Australian taxes, legally working and not at all deserving to be abused.
Racism is a topic, I am more than happy to say, I do not understand!